Forget about dreaming of being someone else, or recapturing something that has had it's time. Be yourself right now, surrender attachments to the past (remember the memories don't waste time recreating them) give up on escaping present reality with wishing for and putting off development. You are you - right here, right now - and you will always be. Forget this and you court dissatisfaction, envy, unrealistic desire, and the negative things these bring. Longing leaves you open to be exploited, to false promises and broken hopes. Recognize longing and where it comes from. Why are you dissatisfied with what you have? Why do you want something more or something different? Question yourself, question your reality until all the questions are asked. Have they been answered? Will they ever be? Is satisfaction in the past? In the future? Were you once satisfied, do you expect satisfaction in the future? Has this cycle of want then acquisition then want then acquisition ever been different for you? Be happy now with what you are doing, thinking, and feeling. Be content with your possessions whether humble or grand. Be content with your nature. It's okay to feel the way you feel. Realize the trauma you relive and flee, express and suppress. Personality changes and grows and deforms at all times. Quiet your dissatisfied mind. Be happy with your attributes. What perceived personal flaws are you trying to cover with ambition and materialism? What is lacking in your life that you seek to compensate? Show them to yourself. Know the source of your own motivations. Compensating for shortcomings is to try to fill an empty bottomless well. Perfectionism is an addiction to arbitrary standards. We are our flaws. We are ourselves. Satisfaction will never come. Escape is an illusion. Be happy now with what you are and you will be living your life. Imagine right now, breathe right now, experience right now. There is only one continuous moment, life is only in this moment. Memory is past, future is imagined. Be yourself, be yourself, be yourself, be yourself, be yourself. You are good enough. Treat this moment and all others and things in it as a gift. Escape is impossible when you're already free. Accept the gift as it is given.
How can one become so addicted to negative feelings? Judging, judging, judging. You are good enough. Accomplishments? Every day of life is a victory. Forget the mantra " you can do more" replace it with "I am enough".